Thinking About Jayden
Thursday, July 9, 2009







WELL TODAY I THOUGHT ABOUT MY SON WELL ACTUALLY I ALWAYS THINK OF HIM BUT I WENT TO PICK UP OUR BLACK AND WHITE PICTURES AND IN THE PICTURE MY BABY LOOKS SO PEACEFUL WITHOUT THOSE DUMB TUBES. I WILL NEVER FORGET MY SON I WILL TRY TO MOVE FORWARD BUT ITS GOIN TO BE REALLY HARD BECAUSE I CARRIED HIM IN MY UTERO AND WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR 7 WEEKS AND HE FINALLY CAME OUT AND WAS TAKEN 9 DAYS LATER EVEN THO HIS EYES WERE CLOSED BECAUSE HE WAS ON MEDICATION HE STILL WOULD HEAR MY VOICE AND WOULD HOLD MY PINKY TIGHT I WOULD TALK TO HIM SO HE COULD KNOW I WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME WITH HIM HE WOULD SMILE AND SOMETIMES CRY BUT WE COULDNT HEAR HIM CRY CAUSE OF THE TUBES BUT HIS EXPRESSIONS ON HIS FACE I KNEW WHEN HE WOULD TRY TO CRY ONLY IF YOU KNEW JAYDEN HOW MUCH MOMMY MISSES YOU AND THINKS OF YOU LATE AT NIGHT YOU ARE NOW OUR GUARDIAN ANGEL I TRY REALLY HARD NOT TO CRY BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO REST AND I NEED TO BE STRONG FOR MY GIRLS I AM READY TO GO BACK TO WORK BUT NOT EMOTIONALLY READY I KNOW ONE DAY WE WILL ALL BE WITH HIM AGAIN BUT FOR NOW WE ARENT SO ITS HARD TO DEAL WITH THIS SOMETIMES IM OK BUT THEN I STOP AND THINK BECAUSE I HAVE HIS PLAYPIN HIS STROLLER AND CARSEAT AND ALL HIS CLOTHES WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM THIS IS YOUR FAMILY IS EVERYTHING TO YOU ALWAYS BE A FAMILY BECAUSE ONE DAY WE ARE HERE ON THIS EARTH AND ONE DAY WE ARE NOT